Nkelle's birth story.

Labour was something I often tried not to think about for the longest time. It was something I knew I had to go through and overcome all the horrors most moms spoke about. My labour was the complete opposite, it was a beautiful experience that played out completely different from the birth plan I drafted. My husband and I were calm throughout the whole process and were really filled with excitement and anticipation to meet our baby.

My water broke at home around 22.30 on Saturday. My baby was born Via c-section at 3.25am Monday morning.

I had mentally prepared myself for a vaginal delivery and that was what I had on my birthing plan. I was induced 17 hours after my water broke, after 10 hours on oxytocin my cervix failed to dilate and the induction had failed. This is when the doctor decided it was safer to have an abdominal birth. Throughout the whole process I felt safe and looked after. With every decision made I was given a chance to ask questions and make a decision on whether that intervention was necessary for me.

He was born 12 days before his due date. At 38+2. This was really exciting because we get to meet our baby earlier than we expected. A piece of me was relieved because the discomfort of the pregnancy at that stage was making everything hard.

He was born on the 25 April 2022. It was a beautiful day, very bright and sunny.

The drive to the hospital was fairly relaxed. My water had broken the previous night, I had contractions but they weren’t unbearable. I had thought they were going to send me home as I wasn’t in active labour. I was comfortable we even left the hospital bag in the car.

I was with my husband the whole time.

He did an amazing job at making sure I was comfortable at all times. He was calm and constantly reminded me of all the affirmations we practiced which was helpful when the real contractions started. He did the breathing technique with me and the hip squeezes like we practiced.

Because I got induced, I felt as if I didn’t get the chance prepare myself for intensity of the waves. The pain was mostly on my lower back nowhere else. The wave felt like a muscle spasm that kept tightening. I tried my best to not focus on the pain rather than what each wave meant, I counted them as steps I was taking to get closer to my baby. With each wave, I affirmed to myself all the things my body is capable of. I also practiced the affirmations for my baby I found and really connected with

You are loved and wanted

You are healthy and whole

You are protected and covered

You are known by God and you will know God

You have God given gifts that the world needs.

Unfortunately after all that, I didn’t get to push. This was really sad and disheartening for me at the time as I was only mentally prepared for my baby to be born naturally. My induction failed after hours of oxytocin and I had to have a c section. I cried the whole way to theatre.

We got to watch our baby being born. The feeling is indescribable, I finally understood the Immense feeling of unconditional love that every parent spoke about our whole world changed in a split second.

I think the first thing I said to my baby was "happy birthday", I was so overwhelmed with emotions I think I said a lot of things but that was one of the things I remember. I kept calling his name too because he was finally here and no longer a fantasy.

The first few days were really hard because I was stuck in hospital for 4 days. I felt really overwhelmed and lonely in the evenings because I was alone with the baby and everything was all new to me. Taking care of a Newborn whilst trying to heal from major surgery all alone was tough. On day 3 I had a breakdown I think it was the first moment I started to feel inadequate. Looking at my innocent baby whilst I felt really helpless was really hard. Once we were discharged and I was home and in my own space I started to feel somewhat better. The support from my husband and family has helped a lot with the transition into the 4th trimester.

3 weeks in I feel good. Though at times I still feel scared and anxious I have to keep reminding myself that I’m also still learning. It’s only been 3 weeks. I’m learning to be kind to myself because; "happy mommy happy baby". I did my Hypnobirthing Essentials class with Jubi when I was about 35 weeks and at that time the thought of birth was something scary and I often tried not I think about. I knew very little about hypnobirthing. Working with Jubi was so breath-taking and enlightening. From the class, she was able to change my mindset and view about the birthing process. After the class I was able draft my birthing preferences and also start visualizing about birthing my baby. Jubi taught me all the breathing techniques and affirmations which I practiced with my husband; this played a huge part to why I had such a positive birthing experience. The exercises helped us stay calm through the whole process. Watching our baby being born was a surreal and beautiful and I can’t thank Jubi enough for helping me prepare myself to make this happen. Every mommy deserves a moment with Jubi.

-Nkelle.

To book an essentials course with or a full hypnobirthing course with The Calm Womxn, you can send an email by clicking this link.